Trish Fotheringham

This month, the DS, is focusing on a survivor, Trish, wishing to help others by relating her story through interviews recorded on DVDs. I first came to know Trish through her contribution in a chapter of Ritual Abuse in the Twenty-First Century, Psychological, Forensic, Social and Political Considerations.

We welcome Trish for her bravery and courage to speak out against ritual abuse and mind control.

Healing from Ritual Abuse and Mind Control: Survivor Trish Fotheringham Speaks Out

Interviewed by Ellen Lacter, Ph.D.

This is a three-disc DVD set interview of Trish Fotheringham, survivor of ritual abuse and mind control.

In an interview of almost three hours with Dr. Ellen Lacter, Trish Fotheringham inspires hope and courage for extreme abuse survivors. She gives direction and guidance for the healing journey, not only to survivors but also to the people who help them, including psychotherapists, clergy, and loved ones.

Trish Fotheringham’s years of ritual abuse and mind control remained secret, even from herself, until she was 30 years old, reaching conscious awareness during college social work classes about child abuse. The decade-spanning healing journey that followed led Trish to discover truths that have culminated in her life purpose of sharing her experiences to spread understanding, hope and inspiration.

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August 24, 2010  

Dr Alison Miller Survivorship Webinar

Dr. Alison Miller Webinar July 2010

August 23, 2010  

Grief: Are We Really Allowed to Cry?

This article looks at one aspect of the healing process- grief. Breaking through the shame to allow yourself to grieve is an aspect few want to encounter, but tears are healing.

Grief (v): Deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement. A cause of such suffering.

Needs: Physical (food, sleep, exercise), Emotional (love and trust.), Social (not being alone), Intellectual (learning), Spiritual (whatever form of guidance you have developed), and Creativity (expressing yourself.)

Everyone has experienced grief. Survivors of Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and/or Incest have been burdened with grief since early childhood. Our grief paralyzed us as we helplessly watched loved ones being murdered, friends disappearing, kids hurt through rape and torture, and our own loss of innocence, trust, family, sense of self and the shame and guilt of our forced participation in rituals.

Taking away a child’s sense of safety, starving her, affixing sleep deprivation and adding physical/emotional and sexual assault sets her up for years of fear, anxiety and depression.

As adults we further repressed our grief, until it festered and turned our attention to destructive tendencies such as addictions—drug and alcohol abuse, sexual and intimacy issues, attempted suicides, self-harm, anorexia and bulimia, social phobias, and isolation. Many of us developed one of the dissociative disorders, recognizing the numbers that did not make it through the healing process.

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August 1, 2010  

Mother Daughter Incest: The Most Hurtful

This article is the final in a series of Incest related topics. It is the first time I have spoken out  regarding the relationship I had with my mother.

My mind recoils and my stomach lurches. I don’t want to remember childhood sexual assault by my mother’s hand.

My brain stops. All functioning inert. Years piled with emotional abuse have taken its toll. My mother broke my spirit apart.

My gait is a half hearted attempt to walk with its limitations. The physical abuse is evident as each step is taken. I don’t want the flooding of memories to reveal this is not from an accident but again my mother’s doing.

My heart breaks and tears slide down my cheeks. I don’t want to remember abandonment by my mother.

Through it all, I ask myself (ves) yet, once again, “What would my life look like today, would I even be alive, had I not stood up to my mother, twenty-one years ago last month, and said, “I’m leaving.”

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July 2, 2010  

Sibling Incest: When it Goes Beyond Childhood Sexual Contact

This article is the second in a third part series on Incest. Sibling Incest is a lesser talked about crime and many times as I have experienced, is classified as something all kids do, calling itself Childhood Sexual Contact. What do we do when it goes beyond that…

As an RA survivor, I tend to gloss over the other form of sexual abuse—incest and even a lesser mentioned crime, sibling sexual assault. This month the DS shatters this taboo.

“It is estimated that approximately 15% of all people report some kind of sexual activity with a sibling in childhood.” (http://www.pandys.org/articles/siblingsexualabuse.pdf)

I know sibling incest is not always taken seriously. Among the comments I have heard are: “they were just playing doctor, it was just a little touching, she asked for it.” I agree there is sibling touching that occurs in the family with children, but where do we draw the line? At what acts? At what ages? Is a brother at the ages of 10-18 accountable for his actions beyond the line of childhood sexual contact?

Yes if:

  • it goes from giggling between the differences in boy’s and girl’s bodies, as seen as young children, to one of them enjoying the pleasure of the other’s fear, shame and humiliation.
  • he threatenens you about telling anyone,
  • he finds places outside the home to perform acts where the danger of being found is minimal,
  • he’s gone beyond touching to intercourse,
  • he ridicules you in front of other family members insinuating ‘he hates your guts’ and doesn’t want to be near you as a cover. If disclosed the statement “Of course Jamie did not assault his sister. He can barely stand to be in the same room with her.”

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June 1, 2010  
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